Coming out in front of parents as gay, lesbian or bisexual is a lot of anxiety especially when you are Indian.
- How they will react? How to communicate well?
- I don’t know what to say?
- Can they understand it without getting upset?
- What is best time to say it?
Such stressed questions are natural. Coming out to family or parents is much bigger and difficult than know your sexuality. Parents are best people to speak about still they follow conservative orthodox or not.
What is Coming Out Of The Closet?
Coming out of the closet meaning? It is the basic metaphor that the LGBT community used when they are ready and go infront of the parents or world. Coming out is a very brave thing to do by being gay and lesbian, whatever the reason behind it.
Your emotions may range from anxiety to relieve to accept being you.
Points to know before Coming out of the closet
Prepare yourself what to say
Prepare yourself what would you say? How you confess them confidently. You can prepare a speech. The best way to write down your thought or record yourself before going to the parents. It will help you to explore your thought and you get clear about what is good to say and how they will react.
First, you need to be prepared. You might feel frustrated that your parents do not consider your sexuality. You should prepare yourself with about the cases, “they accept it” or “not”. After all, a lot of people are not attracted to the same gender.
Note these sentences that you needed within the session
- It is not “just a phase”.
- There is no “cure”. I am not sick.
You can build up communication about LGBT, Gay or Lesbian randomly. How do they feel about it? What was their reaction, Good, Bad or worst?
You can educate them with some such TV Shows, Web series. There are many LGBT shows that came to educate people. You can find some books.
There is much organisation too that help and support the LGBT community for a deserve life. They will educate them all about LGBT. You can consult them and find your solution
Be ready ”Log Kya Kahenge”
— Radika Sriram (@RadikaSriram) December 26, 2013
We all are aware of Indian conservative orthodox. Indian parents and family are taught that love and sex happen between man and women.
It is obvious for parents to think about “log kya kahenge” and being homophobic if they are not aware of LGBT term. It is difficult for them to understand it and it might take time maybe a month and years. Things will not change until you coming out to the closet.
Convince them with how you discover yourself, how you start feeling and how it is difficult for you to be a fake just to sake of society and what other people think and say.
Pick a time and place
In the place where it can be just two people, you and your parents. Make sure you won’t be interrupted while confessing about your sexuality. You can talk about this at home or ask your parents for their good time or comfortable place.
Although there is no perfect time and yeah there is one where you do not feel nervous and free to talk to them.
Pay attention to the parent’s moods. If your decided day seems stressful for your parents, do not go with it. Postponed it and wait for relax mood and perfect time.
Coming out to family altogether might be your wrong decision. It is good first to talk, whom with you feel friendly and easy to talk. It can be any of one of a parent, brother, sister, cousin or friend. If he/she will understand you and will support you, it gets easy for you to talk in front of the family.
Situation doesn’t improve immediately
Some people have their on beliefs.They need some time to understand and accept the gay community.
U can't become a lgbt supporter overnight
— Daylight of Cornelia Street (@Taylucifer98) August 5, 2019
Life and behaviour of people do not improve immediately after coming out. The situation might get worse. After coming out, you may feel free, but it takes time to get really free.
The situation does not improve immediacy. No matter how old you came out. You may not know what to do next after coming out. As a result, you will face many problems and make mistakes, but eventually, it becomes an experience and situation get better in a while.
Let’s go slow and be strong. Enjoy being you, you tend to face more new problem than the problem you have solved with coming out. You choose not to hide yourself, so take time to find what to do next and slowly try out the new situation. Someday things will turn around but that required patience.
Coming out never ends
Coming out never ends even after your parents and family accepted you as you are. There is a huge world outside that it waiting for you. But with the family support situation get easier for you.
Some people are not good telling you and others are tired of repeating, but still, you have to do. Surrounding does not know your sexual orientation. But it does not mean that advertise your sexual orientation loudly. Talk gently and prove yourself. You should be ready to fight the world to be you after confess to the loved one.